What I know

About 2 weeks after my mom died... Alex was desperate to play a game of "Go Fish" with his favorite Elmo cards, but 4 week old Emma was very hungry and I needed to nurse her. I promised Alex that after I was done feeding his baby sister, we would play. Alex, my little impatient angel, tossed his cards on the floor, out of my sight. With a big sigh, I sat down to feed Emma for a while. Alex went on to play with his trains on the other side of the living room.

After a while, once my infant Emma was finished, I went to find all of the cards that Alex had thrown everywhere. I found them . . . in a perfect swirl formation, similar to the picture that I've posted, but with the cards individually aligned perfectly, with the bottom corners of the cards touching and the tops of the cards about 1" apart. I stared at them for a moment, trying to take in exactly what I was looking at. Obviously my little 3 year old hadn't arranged the cards with such precision, not to mention that he was playing trains no where near where he had thrown his cards. Contemplating, I glanced over to my camera on the shelf, looked back, staring at the cards, wondering if I had time to take a picture. But before I could grab my camera, Alex had noticed that I had found his cards and began to gather them up. I was still feeling . . confused . . over what I had just experienced, but I knew that it was my mom that had made her presence known by arranging those cards so carefully, for me, for my children. I remember getting teary-eyed and telling Alex "It looks like Mimi wants to play, too!" and seeing his sweet little face light up at the thought of playing with his Mimi just one more time. The most amazing, beautiful and peaceful spirit was with us.

My husband was working nights at the time and was asleep when all of this happen. After he woke up later that afternoon, I told him what had happen, what I had seen and how I felt. I was still in awe and emotional over the ordeal. But when I related my story, my cynical love rolled his eyes and disregarded what I told him. He told me something along the lines of me being crazy and too sleep-deprived. Which was partially true, I did have a newborn after all. But I KNEW what I had seen, KNEW what I had felt and KNEW that it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me. I KNEW the truth.

I've thought about that experience at least a million times over the past 3 years. Especially when I'm feeling lonely, wishing that my mom was around to talk to. And then I remember that one day she left me a symbol of forever on my living room floor, for me to remember her by, always.

When I ponder my experience, time after time I am reminded of our Prophet Joseph Smith and all that he endured. He was just a boy of 14 when God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to him. He was anxious to share his experience with everyone he knew, thinking that they would be as excited as he was to know that They live. But people ridiculed him, mocked him, even tried to take his life for speaking of the experience that he had had. He KNEW that They had appeared to him, that They had called him by name, that They had a great purpose for him, that They live and loved him.

Take my word for it when I tell you that I have studied the life of Joseph, his colleagues, his friends, his family, his own words, his teachings, etc. I have a passion for church history love learning all I can regarding it all. I have studied the scriptures for 20+ years and feel confident in my knowledge of the truths they hold, both the Holy Bible and the Book of Mormon.

But nothing is more important to me than my own testimony, including that of Joseph. I have "searched, pondered and prayed"; the simple recipe for getting answers to prayers, which I have done, time and time again. And time after time, I get the same answer. What Joseph said happened, actually did happen. I know that his experience was reality, just as much as mine was. I know that Joseph, a humble farm boy in upstate New York in 1820, took the advice of the scriptures when he read James 1:5: "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God".

A prayer that changed the world.

Still today, many people have a hard time comprehending Joseph's first vision, his life, his ministry, his purpose. But all it takes is one humble prayer and a sincere desire to find out the truth.

And with a very thankful, humble heart, this is what I know.