Sacrifice

Last night we watched the movie "Marley and Me". I thought it was really cute. At one time, Jen (who's played by Jennifer Aniston - I love her), portrayed a busy, overworked, overwhelmed, stressed out mother of 2 young children. I thought she did a great job. She expressed her feelings to her husband about how much of herself she sacrifices being a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) and how she feels that a large part of her has been lost. But I loved that she also mentioned that being a SAHM was her choice, and if it came to missing out on her career or her kids' childhood, she would give up her career without hesitation, because there wasn't a single moment of their lives that she wanted to miss.

But in the meantime...

I barely know who "I" am most days. I know that I'm a mother from the second I wake up in the morning until I pass out at night. I wake up early for Alex, getting him up and ready for school - most days it takes every ounce of effort that I have to wake up cheerfully so that he will wake up happy as well. It takes a lot of me to be patient with my tired & cranky 5 year old. But if I work hard to wake him with a happy attitude, he almost always wakes up happy too. After getting him breakfast, I would love to crawl straight back into bed, but instead, I sit next to him and read scripture stories. I do this because I want to my son to learn about the gospel, about the scriptures, want him to learn that his Heavenly Father loves him. And him knowing about the gospel is more important than my sleep. Later in his life, I want both he and I to be able to look back on those 10 minutes each morning that we spend together reading and discussing and remember how precious these days were. These are surely precious days.

So do I feel resentful that I have no clue who "I" am anymore? Not even close. Sure, sometimes I wish I had more time to do things that I enjoy doing, but I've come to terms with my choice to be a SAHM, and I am chosing to enjoy this time with my kids. I'm writing this post just after my sweet boy headed off to school, and as soon as I'm done, I'm going to crawl back into my warm bed and try to catch a little more sleep before my other little angel awakes. I am surely blessed.