Raw Emotions

Last night I said my good-bye's to my sis (in-law) and niece. I had a meltdown, like I knew I would. I hated it. I love them so much. My hubby held my hand the whole drive home while I cried. He knows how I feel about them. My heart hurts knowing that I won't get to see them on the weekends, but they're only a couple of days drive away. My brother will be joining them within the month. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle that. I should probably go ahead & schedule an appointment with a psychologist to prepare for that mental breakdown. Hopefully we can visit them next summer, or maybe sooner if I feel the need - sometimes I just really need to spend time with them. They're engraved in my soul, those three.

Or maybe they can come down here to visit us for Thanksgiving. Maybe. Thanksgiving is a special day. My mom, brother and I were baptized on Thanksgiving day, back in 1989. Beautiful, life-changing day, full of bliss and wonderful memories. On Thanksgiving day, the three of us would always hug each other and say "Happy Anniversary." My brother and I still do.

I miss my mom.

My emotions are very raw these days, especially with my brother and family moving. I'm feeling very alone, which in turn makes me feel that much more grateful for the gospel and for the knowledge that families are forever, that my family is forever. For knowing that Ryan will forever be my baby brother. And knowing that Tony and I didn't marry "til death do us part". We're forever too. And because of our covenants, our kids will be with us as well. Who doesn't want their family to be forever?

Speaking of which...we'll be celebrating 6 years of love on Friday. Our wedding anniversary is the 16th, but we met on the night of the 9th, had our first date on the 16th and married one year later in the Oakland, CA. Temple. That was a long year...but I'm glad we worked out our kinks. I sure do love that guy.